Integrity is One of Our Core Values: Tips for the Outsourced

The most difficult thing for me about working in a corporate environment is the near-total lack of honesty. Everything is spun or watered down to the point of meaninglessness. Problems or obstacles have to be called “opportunities”, and you’d better make sure they are far outnumbered by “strengths” on your PowerPoint slide. Things that didn’t go well? They must be called “lessons learned”, and be innocuous and few in number.

When I’ve worked for managers who could take off the corporate mask in the face of some of our less meaningful tasks and say, “Yeah, this is redundant and stupid, but we have to do it or we’re in big trouble,” I’ve got no problem laughing about it, and then producing the requested result. When I’ve worked for managers who can’t put the company pom-poms down and continue to parrot the party line in the face of overwhelming logic and facts to the contrary, I find myself extremely demoralized. When people sound as if Corporate Communications gave them a script for every conversation, a part of me screams mutiny.  I need to understand the value and meaning of my work; if there is none, I have to hear some acknowledgement of that fact in order to be really engaged and productive. 

Having worked for a couple of managers recently who actually asked for input and then listened (or at least were polite enough to pretend) when we answered, I was lulled into a false sense of feeling human. Unfortunately, our current team of managers weren’t interested in viewing us that way at all. We were supposed to be supportive and compliant and go to great lengths to make sure our jobs disappeared in the most successful way possible.

Learn from my naïveté. Here are some communication tips in case you find yourself being outsourced:

• When the department manager asks if anyone has any questions or wants to talk about the outsourcing during the bi-monthly meeting, he/she doesn’t really mean it.

• When the department manager and HR call a meeting to ask everyone how we can all “stay engaged” over the next twelve weeks, you are not supposed to say that your paycheck is the only thing keeping you engaged. The only acceptable answers are:

a)     I’m excited about this learning opportunity! (yes, someone actually said that)

b)     Going through an outsourcing project will be great experience for future job interviews!

c)      I really want to help make this a successful transition for the good of the company!*

*Lest you forget, these are statements coming from a room full of people who are being replaced by an outside company that pays half as much and outsources many of the jobs to Argentina and India. We have not been encouraged to apply for jobs with them, and haven’t been introduced to or contacted by the new company. Essentially, we’re being discarded, unless we’re able to scramble and find another position within the company while the clock is ticking. And despite all this, we are still expected to come up with inane positive statements about how AWESOME this all is.

• On a related note, the department manager does NOT want you to point out the real definition of “employee engagement” and the contributing factors (none of which are present in your organization). He/she has defined it as “being positive and productive”, and that’s the way it’s going to stay.

• If your manager tells you the new company has great technology and are experts in their field, chances are he/she doesn’t appreciate you pointing out that you’d have a lot more expertise if all your training, benchmarking and professional organization membership hadn’t been cut several years ago. Not to mention having to use an antiquated, barely functional system you’ve been begging to get replaced since 2002.

• When you speak to anyone else outside your department, you are not allowed to talk about the outsourcing, no matter how long you’ve worked with those people or how well you know them. If they DO somehow find out about the outsourcing, you are not allowed to talk about how the outsourcing is going. The official answer is, “It’s going to be great! The technology and expertise the vendor is bringing to the table will really take us to a whole new level!” Most of all, never mention that the person doing your job will be seated in Argentina.

• If you ask questions during meetings or try to correct errors in the process maps, you won’t be invited to any planning meetings with the vendor, even if you have the most knowledge of the systems and process. When the project launch is delayed (thus prolonging the misery) and you ask why you weren’t invited to share your information, you’ll be told you have a “bad attitude”. (Even though you helped them pass an audit they should have failed, organized and shared all your files and historic data, and have given all vendors’ employees access to the systems and instructions on how to use it.) People losing their jobs are supposed to have GOOD attitudes (defined as extremely compliant, agreeable and not concerned with logic).

I hope you can learn from my mistakes, and go down a silent martyr instead of one of those annoying people who care too much and ask too many reasonable questions. Of course, your head may explode from all the repression, but you will get a nice pat on back as you are being kicked out the door.